Success a la More

“Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need."

-Emily Dickinson

Out of all the ideas success is probably the most wild and hardest to capture. In fact, it is so hard to grasp that we have to give things up to attain it. We have to quit on people! We have to say, “No. Not anymore.” Beyond that we have to do things we would never want to for achievement. Acts that could be regarded as immoral in nature. Things that maybe sometime ago one would have never thought of ever doing. Success can even be so elusive we may have to lie to grasp it... and even if only for a little while.

Sometimes, very basic morality can be the way we ought to live life and many of those lessons are learned in Kindergarten. Keep your hands to yourself, stay in line, and sharing is caring. Do these things in life, and chances are, you will be a good person. Chances are though, you won't succeed. One of my favorite maxims are, “nice guys finish last.” It just makes one want to be terrible doesn't it? Frankly, I would never want to finish last—even if it were a running race and I'm not very fleet-footed.

Success isn't about a race, or is it though? What is it about? A person who claims they don't know is probably treading in some pretty muddy water and—my guess is—they probably are in some debt. “Debt” is a great euphemism. You owe somebody something... how about that? Maybe success is not having to ask anybody for anything anymore. Though, we all need a little advice from time to time.

How about a definition.

“The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.

(dictionary.com)

“I have children and take care of them.” Well, cross that one off the list. “I graduated with honors.” Cross that one off too. “I beat addiction.” Slash it off the list. “I have never lied.” I don't believe you. What kind of accomplishment is that? No wonder you live in a “van down by the river.” Maybe if you lied you'd at least own a trailer, in a park somewhere, near a store.

Is success objective or subjective? In other words, is it personal satisfaction? Or is success satisfying others? Maybe it's pissing people off. People have told me that their basis of success (not in these words) is creating jealousy. They want to people to dislike them because they have something they don’t have or will never achieve. It isn't very logical but it makes sense on some level. If you have something others desire, it does make you better than them, even if that sounds primitive, it's valid.

That can't be true though. That isn't sound reasoning. There are many people out there that have less than others and are quite possibly happier. Success could be just living comfortably. We can all agree that the less stress there is the happier we are. But amongst the “Others” your “cheap ass” should get a new car... one with a monthly payment too. Your obligations mark your success. Remember that. Who do you answer to? That dog you feed or your wife and children? Your boss or your probation officer? We all answer to somebody even if that person is our self.

We often look at success as a duty. It starts at a young age with marks and stars. Smiley faces and grades turn into GPA's and SAT scores. Before you know your whole life is being judged by the quality of your body of work. You meet people and they wonder what it is you do. That is normal. There should never be shame in what one does. Still though, it's only common courtesy to make an excuse. Why if someone didn't there may just be something wrong with them. America lives in a society that rests on responsibility and lives on excuses. I may have written that backward.

In fact, it is part of your duty to be successful. And if you aren't you better be creative and make something up. This country doesn't tolerate failure. Just like your family. Just like your friends. And just like that stranger who tells you via a bumper sticker that reads “baby on board.” You have to be serious and have to be determined. This gives you the best opportunity to gain something that's not always permanent. It very well be transient or short-lived. “I used to” and “I had” are not successful statements at all. Actually, those are statements a person should probably keep to themselves.

There are different perspectives on being successful but I know there is a common ground. It depends on what somebody wants if they feel they have a choice in the matter. You may think real success is Rudy finally getting to play for the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. There was certainly a lot of dedication, hard work, and sacrifice in that story. He certainly “quit” and “gave up” a lot for that “honor.” One hit wonders too. Men at Work's “Down Under” spent only four weeks at number one... before being replaced by Toto's “Africa”--another hit wonder of course.

People even write books on success. As if it were something we could teach. “Never Give Up,” is an actual book by Donald Trump. I wonder if he wore his own cologne while he promoted it. Sometimes success is measured by the fall. Think about the flight of Icarus and how he flew to close to the sun. One has to fly to fall. Although, maybe our biggest failures were not being able to get off the ground in the first place. Then again, some think it's better to just stay there.