Idea of Christmas

It's Christmas... again.  Perhaps you already know what is going to be written.  The same negative things year in and year out.  By now though most, if not all of the shopping is done, so we can all agree that the cliché of the hustle and bustle through the crowds of people and swamps of merchandise is exactly what it is: miserable.  If you want I could even throw the word "nonsense" in there as well—it is Christmas—I too am willing to give.  



Deep down though we all know it's more than being placed in uncomfortable situations at Christmas parties or having to meet people you don't even know just because you work with them. What about family?  Perhaps the funniest most ironic part of the holidays is being surrounded by loved ones whose character you despise.  Why put up with it all then?  It isn't for the gifts.  Surely, they are a part of it though.  It feels great to give that perfect gift, especially if that person didn't expect it. 

Christmas is a time where it was okay to want.  Surely, desire is something we are all used to on a regular basis but it's a little different this time of year.  Somehow I don't see wives putting up with rude brother in-laws and stale cigar smoke for a gift-card.  I don't think children want to play with cousins that they hardly know for a sweater they will never want to wear.  We give gifts out of love and appreciation not because it is the "right thing to do."  If we did that it would be the "wrong thing to do."



There is definitely something more important that surrounds this time of year.  Love seems to be the popular theme.  Take a look at American cinema throughout the years.  Watch every ending.  I bet somewhere on youtube there is a compilation of Christmas movie endings just waiting to be watched!  Merry Christmas movie house!  It certainly is a wonderful life isn't it?  It depends where one looks.   If you curse while putting the kids in the car before going to grandma's house, then maybe not so much. Then again, it must be wonderful to give or a receive a Lexus on Christmas. Or, more simply, give that special someone the moon.



It isn't about money though. It's about cookies, smiles, and snow. Blinking lights on tinsel covered pines, egg-nog with brandy, and kisses under the mistletoe. Caring, love, and joy all wrapped up and tied with a pretty red bow. The songs, the caroling, and the spirit make for a time that is rather fast appear slow but just for a moment.



The idea of the holidays: fabricated in the mind and produced by the heart. There will be a time you hear, “it's here already, and “it's already over.” Maybe that's why it is special. Like something you didn't even know you were waiting for and then it left like it was really never there. We know it was there though because it left quite a mess. When the spirit leaves the magic is gone. What was once a Christmas tree is now a prickly stick with garbage thrown on it. Full red stockings are now empty old socks. Even the cookie jar with the snow-man appears to be insignificant and foolish.



Alone or not, it is something we all share and are a part of. I don't know if Angels get their wings every time bells ring. I don't know why Santa is a fat, bearded man. What puzzles me most is why some people cry on Christmas. Perhaps too much joy for just one to bear. They must be just words and thoughts intended for one's “bad ear.”

As fast as it came the quicker it will go. Each family photo and picture with friends becomes a fixed moment in time. I'm sure we can all remember something from the Christmas of '98. You probably have a decoration you still use from that year, perhaps even before. And as the cacophony of those three exciting sounds are sent into the air, enjoy your family, friends, and one-another until next year.



Merry Christmas



J. M. Hobby
Christmas Eve, 2013

Bullying or Just Plain Horseplay

With the recent allegations surrounding the Miami Dolphins over bullying in the work place, I found it pertinent to talk about exactly what bullying is. This is something that has become a bit of a nuisance throughout American culture and in recent years has sparked debate over the ramifications bullying can have on an individual and those close to that person. To bully means to use superior strength or influence to intimidate someone, typically to force him or her to do what one wants. Other definitions I found involved “school age children” or a person who means to intimidate the weaker.

These are definitions that I think all of us are accustomed to. In fact, I never really heard of adults “bullying” each other unless it was some comedy routine or some farce as seen in the movie, “Big Bully.” On a very basic level it is humorous to watch grown-ups fight and bicker as children do. Anything for that matter that depicts adults acting like children is seen as comical. Recently, bullying has become no laughing matter. In the past five years there have been reports of teenagers killing themselves because they have been bullied for being “different.” Usually these attacks are done via social media outlets which allows the attacking to be more persistent, resulting in emotional breakdowns or violence.

Violence is actually the “old timer's answer” for bullying. The quick remedy to stop the torment cause by bullying is to “stand up for yourself.” As a child, I remember that fighting back with violence was the only solution to stop being bullied.  Then and only then would the bully would leave one alone, knowing that his/her actions will no longer be tolerated. It is never a guarantee, but most of the time the technique works as a bully's aim is to actually avoid confrontation.

So I beg the question: Bullying or horse play? In some form or another (depending on how loosely we interpret the definition) we have at one time or another been on both ends of the spectrum. Who hasn't been picked on for what they wear? Who has never pointed out a “funny characteristic” about the way a person looks? Bullying can actually be viewed as something that is enjoyable... to participate in and to be a spectator of. We even see bullying as a main object in video games—games "made" for kids I might add. Use your imagination. On some level even Super Mario Brothers is a game in which the lead protagonist “bullies” his way through until he eventually “saves” the girl.

Could bullying be something that is so completely subjective that we only see it when we want to? Can bullying really exist in the adult world?  Is in something that actually is natural and part of being human?  It seems our nation has a problem of definition. Is being passive 'weak' in our society? Perhaps there really is a problem with this type of social behavior and people are not being overly sensitive. Either way, the notion of bullying has become ever more so apparent and is now under the proverbial spot light in American culture.

Only One Chance?

Living is full of twists and turns. All sorts of roads and paths will be traveled. Some dangerous and others very pleasant. At the end we always like to look back and see how far we've come. There is something joyful about looking down a hill after getting to the top. One wipes the proverbial sweat from their face in satisfaction. You made it. They made it. Whatever it was the obstacle was overcome.

What about the others? Not everyone makes it. That can't make any sense. This is life not a tee-ball game! We need winners and losers! You can't take that away. If people take that away the foundation of human existence might disappear! Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.

I like to believe that we live in a society that always offers people a second chance. We are only human. In fact, if we didn't make mistakes I may just question, and come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with a person who doesn't err. What if though, there was really only one chance in life. Brutal to think about isn't it? Even worse, what if it had been already given to you? That isn't fun at all to think about. Or is it?

We have joyous occasions and festivities to celebrate one's achievements. Have you ever felt the prick of jealousy's little needle? Surely, it stings but only until the great ones fall. Then our vanity and pride can be restored and the world put back in place. What if you accepted that fact that your chance had came and went and you missed it like the train that led up-town? Would you wait for another or run to a different station?

Could a person be content with mediocrity? Perhaps, although would they show it? I believe in bitterness if only given one chance. But wait, an epithet! “Life isn't fair.” That seems to work... sometimes. Some people may never even get a chance. Oh, how they are pitied. Especially by those who were given two. Who hands out these chances anyway? I don't really care for their “distribution expertise.” “You had better be happy with the one I gave you.” It is as if you should feel blessed to have that one chance! Your entitlement rests solely on luck... the luck, you of course, created.

Still most of us fall at one time or another. Sometimes a hand reaches out from the light, or darkness casts it shadowy veil. Not much choice but to dust yourself off and keep going. At least faith and hope can fool us into believing we will get a second chance. Or that same bit of faith will help offer another. Just remember to think—as the dust begins to clear—what knocked you down in the first place.

Just Be Yourself

I have thought about this for quite a while. Even when the words were uttered to me as a child I wondered about this phrase. I may think about it now in more detail but the original reaction was: be myself? “Just be yourself and everything will be fine.” Perhaps you have heard people say that in the past. What does it mean though? Define what “the self” is. Was my personality molded from being around “the others?”

It is something that all of us should do though, and all of us think we do as well. On the other hand, I hear the insult “poser” being thrown around like a baseball on some days. How can a person even tell if you're being your self? Why not put on an act or live a lie—certainly would make things more interesting. Although, “being yourself” is a great excuse. Then again, I have heard people say in life or on TV, “what went wrong? I was just being myself?!” I thought being yourself made things so much easier.

I'm not writing this to persuade. I believe the same as everyone else: that people should be themselves. I just find it extremely hard to accomplish based upon the inherent qualities in human beings that make them want to idolize and emulate those who inspire them. Seems to be quite natural in all honesty to be prodded in to following “the others.” But with every action comes a consequence. Going with the crowd can sometimes be a very wise decision. Going against them... well not so much.

Unless that person happens to be so special that when they show their true self... people begin to follow. I will save the historic examples. The point is: by being yourself you show a natural and pristine side that people will only like and appreciate in secret. The remedy? I can't tell you because then I wouldn't be being myself.

Johnny Be Good?

Frankly, I'm sick of this. There is your subjective view-point. Objectively, it is this situation, and Manziel's behavior. I am inclined to predict that he will be the only freshman ever to win the Heisman Trophy. The great plays, the demeanor to stay in the pocket, or to decide to keep a play alive by running has been dwarfed by his “off the field antics.” I'm not going to say, “let a kid be a kid.” We should all know where that gets us. Then why don't we let a popular football player and collegiate athlete live where he belongs: “the lime-light.”

This award was given to “Johnny Football.” Maybe it should have been given to another controversial student-athlete in Manti T'eo? Would the cameras still be following him around. I have a guess that if you beat Alabama on any given day one would gain some publicity. Manziel didn't win the award. Instead, he won notoriety. He has done almost everything wrong, except be himself. I thought our society rewarded that.

“Do the talking on the field.” It is common. “Let others talk while you are off it.” Not so common. Embrace instead of erase. This isn't a matter of stature but of ignorance. Write what you write and watch a kid from afar to make a mistake. I only hope you watch him win. Mr. Football gained success very early. He achieved nothing other than a prestigious award that nobody has ever done. He was young. The production is great and so are the fire-works. But let's leave it to a Saturday. Why don't we begin to criticize on a Sunday? If he makes it there.

We all pretend. Charlatans in the light of a camera with a beverage and a lady by our side. I don't see it. People react to conflict more than peace. These are not rules being broken, it is a life being lived. I'm not romanticizing youth either for all you critics. Instead, criticize yourself. Perhaps the voters are at fault for throwing a trophy at a kid! Do people ever really understand? Let it be. I know that “sophomore slumps” are actually prevalent? Criticize when there is evidence. Nobody can 'tell' Manziel how to act, so why make it an issue?

Perhaps you have nothing better to write about.

The One, The Few, The Many.

The One, The Few, The Many.

We are often fooled by certain adages and aphorisms during life that we become convinced that there really is “the one.” There is. Just not really. There are the many. In fact, we strain it down to the few. What are you looking for? The same as me? Tokens. Gain as many as you can, you will surely run out. Go all in on the big pot—or play it safe, don't matter to me, it's your gamble. “Good thing it is a sure thing.” I always liked that saying. 

I want my finger to bend just like your opinion. Except that isn't going to happen. Just like WWIII. It would make for a great hit, but to big a budget. We should always be cautious with the budget. Trilogies only make more money in DVD sales, or records of the past. Back to my original thought: there is someone out there for everybody. Just like how everyone is really “available.” Depending on your morals. 

Will you find 'the one'? No. You will find many that resembles “the one.” Take note, this is just an exercise, not to make one feel tired. Gloom leads to the broom to sweep away the dust of an old cave. A dwelling at least. Where one used to rest. Doesn't seem to bother anyone but the best. When one has it too good, they think of the “one that got away.” Another saying I love. Who let it loose. Is this a thought on autonomy? No can't be. We wouldn't treat ourselves as slaves! We are human. Be careful with sarcasm. 

Find a circle. It is what we do. It is what we have to do. Imagine life without one. You would be called, “square.” A box out of space, a block not in place. An anomaly in bad shape. Be part of the circle, create your own. It's even better that way and the chance of finding what you look for are even closer. Not talking about happiness, just talking. You want it then go get it. Have fun chasing that dragon down the street to the bank to finance a house. You probably won't get there. And if you did, you wouldn't like it in time. Which really means you wouldn't like it at all. Not now or later anyway. Before sure! Well, that is desire. We love everything we desire... that is until we get it. Then it becomes old news. Yesterday's waste and damn old toothpaste with crust on the nozzle, don't want that in my mouth. Get me the good stuff.

New is good and old is well... not good. (Thought I would say, “old”?) Old stuff can have value but I'm not talking about antique chairs or pictures. I think you may know the point of the thought, then again...perhaps not. It isn't my job to tell, but I have an obligation to let you know that there are facts out there and opinions and not to cross the two. 

Luck may meet your day. You may meet an encounter. I. Luck will be. Sure as Hell. Not a good chance perhaps. The bell has rung so go get some. People are waiting for you. That is what they do. We enjoy waiting so much that we begin hating. Patience is the key. Right? One can only wait so long before that one is gone.

If I Were a Writer

If I were a writer I would tell a story. I would tell many stories in fact. If I were a writer I would create something beautiful. As beautiful as the setting sun over a lonely mountain-top. So beautiful it would bring a tear to one's eye. If I were a writer I would frighten people! I would scare them so. I would make them think about what could be around the corner. I would make them look over their shoulder. If I were a writer I would show how tragic life can be. People would become sad. So sad that it would bring a tear to one's eye. I could mention loneliness felt for a long lost love or maybe even lament about the passing of an amiable man.

If I were a writer I would show people new worlds. Places filled with creatures and magical spells of all kinds. I would allow them to leave their world and to have a peek at a new reality. If I were a writer I would make people laugh. I would place a character in a situation so awkward the reader would remember how embarrassed they felt and it would make them smile. They would laugh out loud even and say, “that is so true.” If I were a writer I would write the most inspiring aphorisms. People would be so confident they could take on the world. If I were a writer I would make people feel hopeless. That the very world they are taking on is going to come crashing down on them, crushing all of their hopes and dreams in one finely written sentence.

If I were a writer I would make people question things. All sorts of things! I would tell them about the government and its manipulative nature. I would tell them there are other galaxies filled with other worlds. I could go so far that they might question their own existence. If I were a writer I would make them question themselves. Who are you and what do you mean? They might even question those closest to them. If I were a writer I would make people become skeptical. They would harass all truth and believe in none of it. I could make them even think that truth doesn't exist and there is no point to all of this. 

If I were a writer I would confuse people. They would think and think and get absolutely nowhere. I would have them walk in circles and end up right where they started. Nothing would make any sense anymore. If I were a writer I would make people angry. They would be so mad that sweat and frustration would build upon each sentence that is being read. I could make them as furious as swarm of bees after their nest has been disturbed.

If I were a writer I would leave people alone. I wouldn't want to bother anybody, there is too much writing to be done! How can one write in a crowded place? They can't. If I were a writer I would retreat to a cabin in the woods. Nobody would know where I am, nor would they even notice my disappearance. If I were a writer I would have a reason to leave a society which I don't care for. I would criticize in my solitude the blunders and problems of it and in my solitude, I would bring a tear to my own eye. 

If I were a writer I wouldn't tell anyone. I would keep the vocation to myself. Why would it be any of their business anyway? If I were a writer I wouldn't allow anyone to read anything I wrote. I would write for the intention of my own sake and not anybody else's. I would do my own thing. If I were a writer I would walk to the beat of my own drum. I would be as proud as the male lion over his pride. 

If I were a writer I would make poor decisions. I would choose so poorly people would believe that freedom doesn't exist. Nothing would be my fault because I never had a choice. If I were a writer I would copy other people. Everything has been done anyway. I would never plagiarize. That is just wrong. If I were a writer I could lie. I would tell lies and get away with them. It would be my responsibility to make things up and yours to believe them.

If I were a writer I would continually criticize. I would show people all the wrongs in the world and I wouldn't even offer a solution. I could point out every problem for others to fix. What's the use in picketing if I have a pen? My ideas speak for themselves. If I were a writer I would claim that I have an excuse to drink. And I would also tell them that I don't make excuses. A writer can never have a drinking problem. A writer can never make too many excuses. 

Oh, if I were a writer I would do a lot of things for others and make people feel all sorts of different ways. But at what cost? If I were a writer my insanity would be accepted. People would understand my personality. However, nobody would know me. If I were a writer that is what I would want. If I were a writer I would never achieve my goals, not because I always failed, but because I would never have any. What is the point when all I care about is pleasing others? After all, if I were a writer it wouldn't matter what others thought.

Greener Pastures

Have you ever looked for greener pastures? Have you found them? Most people that find them stay there. Why not? It's green! However, others leave them for newer and greener pastures. What happens though if you don't find a greener pasture? What if it isn't a pasture at all?! What if it is a dark cavern filled with monsters of slime and poison. What if the walls are in decay and it seems like at any moment all will crumble and you will be trapped amongst the rubble while the beasts gnaw on your feet and claw at your soul? Pretty gruesome. I prefer my pasture to have a fence, that way it will keep people out that I don't want on it.

What if you were looking for a greener pasture and were already sitting on one? Would we call you greedy or simply look at you as a go-getter? Both a go-getter and a greedy person takes. We like a go-getter and hate one who is greedy though. We think a go-getter should have a greener pasture than a greedy person but that isn't always the case. I question a lot of things. Sometimes I question whether or not I should make a blog-post personal or objective. Sometimes I wonder how much of a difference there is between the two. Should I use 'I' in a blog? Depends on what I want to discuss and if you want to keep reading.

This is different though. I want to discuss making a decision to stay or to go. “Reach out and go for it!” you may here some people say. Perhaps there is a greener pasture waiting for you there. Certainly wouldn't want to chance finding an old field filled with shit and a broken down shed that certainly needs more than just a coat of paint. Then again, human beings do like to be challenged. What one sees as an 'old field' another could see as an opportunity to create her own pasture, greener than all the rest! Hard work. Dedication. Trust. These build greener pastures. Theft. Deception. Harlotry. These take those pastures that have already been built. However, people like things other people have. Sometimes I think that people are still a lot like children, and that toy seems to be a much more of a prize if little Billy has it or if little Tracy is running around with it. Then, when it is set down, it loses its appeal. Might as well “throw it away” now, nobody wants it anymore. 

Any which way we seek out our own place. Does it matter how we get there? I don't know. I do know that you will end up somewhere, we all do. But will that place be filled with greener pastures? You might already be on one and have yet to realize it.

Humanity Disorder

There are people out there who suffer everyday because they know who they are. What sympathy do they receive? To recognize that you are just a human... not a person. A person has feelings and a life that has meaning. A human just is. She realizes what meaning that is out there is only created by a desire to want. Desires that were no way intended to be hers. They were always someone else's. It is a terrible affliction to know what you are. It is a new disorder in today's world. It used to be an old syndrome in yesterday's reality. Psychology can't quite get it right. But these people need help. And they need it now!

They walk around with aims that are not their own. They have nothing because it is someone else's. They simply exist. These people self medicate with alcohol and find comfort in knowing eventually they will die. They will not exist at sometime and they wonder when and why. They could even take their own life, at least they find freedom in that. However, there is no point in doing that either. Who would want to be a story for a day? They could have meaning in their life one day! If they could only forget where it came from.

Who figured that out? Perhaps nothing was discovered but this illness can't be ignored. Human beings are suffering out there dammit! And people are ignoring them because they don't hear any cries for help. Why isn't there any? The realization is too deep and its meaninglessness is too far. There are no cries and if there were... they couldn't be heard. One must understand to be able to listen. If a person and a human could communicate perhaps we could see some progress. How does one tell the difference? That is the problem with this disease! The symptoms are not so easily detected. Some of them can be found in every person. Even you could have could carry symptoms of this disorder. How could one know though?

There is no medicine for this disease. Once it is contracted there is no cure. It does not want to go away, it is here to stay. A human doesn't even want it to leave them because they earned the right to not be a person anymore. Remember the stages: The Camel, The Lion, and The Child. Let your angst disappear. Open your eyes against the multitude. One day there will be a cure.

State of Mind

I like to begin discussions with a question or two. It helps create that perfect harmony between understanding and learning. This time however, I'm feeling a bit different. Do you ever wonder if animals think? I watched four birds fly to the ridge of a roof. It seems as though they talked for a while as they chirped away. I thought that maybe, by chance, there was an argument when two of the birds flew over to a wire and perched themselves there. Were they mad? Perhaps they were disgusted with the others that they had no choice but to leave. 

Whatever the case, I perceived a situation that I believed could have been confrontational. It certainly looked that way. Who would ever believe that birds disagree anyway? So I laughed. We all have our bouts. We all have times we want to get away from the others. What is going through your mind when you make a decision? Did you ever ask yourself, “what was I thinking?” Well...what were you thinking? How could you act that way? Were you deceived? Maybe, just maybe, those birds weren't treating each-other with respect.

Could be terrible teaching. Who did you learn right from wrong from? Your parents? What if there was no right and wrong? Morality is a whip disguised as an angel! Then again, we have to try and be fair to one-another. You don't like to be treated “wrong” and neither do I. However, something signifies that other people giggle when others gain an affliction. People smile when someone's plans go a-drift. Human beings can be so cruel that they actually enjoy to watch others suffer! That is the name of the game: life. Get out of my way! Money! Who do you think you are?! That's my money! Where is my money?!

Seems to make a lot of sense to me. The more people push others down, the more they rise above the rest. Then they can act pretentious and look down their nose at the rest of the filth that is keeping this country bound to poverty. Go to work! You pathetic piece of trash, you should be ashamed of yourself! Our condescending nature creates problems and solutions. So I say, at the end of the day, “relax. Your gibberish is becoming cacophonous and irritating.” I don't pretend that people know. I surely don't pretend that they understand. But I demand that others should pay attention whether or not they “follow the rules.”

Uncalculated Measures

We are all faced with decisions in which we don't really know the outcome.  These "risks" are like moves on a chess-board--depending how good you are.  Can we every really predict the consequences of our actions whether they be good or bad?  Forget about morality for a minute.  Can we know what will happen after the fact?  How will that person react if I do this?  What if I do nothing, will it make a difference? 

We would all like to agree that we do make a difference and that we can have some sort of an idea where our decisions will lead us.  We live with the decisions we make... like them or not.  Then there is always that reflection.  Perhaps this is the hardest part.  If only we could have changed one thing--or many things for that matter!  We would be so much better off in the long-run.  If we could only change.  Why didn't you in the first place?  Was it because one is so caught up in the moment they really couldn't act any other way?  Was that person compelled to make that decision?  Should they be held accountable?  Should they be held responsible?  Well, a lot of different factors play into these questions.  If this and if that.  I don't really know.

However, I have an inclination that presented the exact same conditions; in the exact same event; with the same exact people; in the same exact environment; with the same exact characteristics that make up a personality; that person has no other choice but to act in exactly the same way in which--upon further reflection by their own inner conscious could not do otherwise!  If one was able to go back, given the circumstances that are present, you couldn't make any different choice.  But there is more: would you want to?  Sure we all make mistakes but our agency depends upon the pull of our desires and the stronger the pull, the more likely were are to act or behave in that manner.  Therefore, no matter what was at stake or for what reason, question your actions.  You may have a better future because of it.

Guilty Adventures

When people leave... when we leave our homes, we decide to go on a journey. There is a plan. There is a goal. Perhaps there are many goals? It depends where you are going. The arrival happens and we go to work. We work on having fun. There are tasks that need to be met everyday. If something doesn't get done, it must be done the next day. There are only so many days on an adventure because it's not long term. We know that it is eventually going to be over. So the tasks that are planned must be completed before we leave. However, not everything can always be completed. Only so much can be done in that certain amount of time. So we try our best to complete every goal we set for our self. The only problem is—even though we accomplished a lot of the things we wanted to do—is that at the end of the excursion we find that we really didn't accomplish everything.

It wasn't on the list. It was created during our time on the adventure because of other changes that happened to occur. Therefore, I think about the question: how can we end up being disappointed on the way back? You did everything you set out to do. Everything you planned on doing was accomplished but you created more new things after you had arrived. The original plan that you created you deviated from. It was the plan that you devised and made sure it was perfect. Spending time thinking about all of the duties and activities of this journey. But still, on the way back home you are left with a small amount of regret. And over what? You accomplished everything you set out to do, yet when you arrive home you have depressing thoughts and regrets about what you would have done differently? That isn't logical. If you thought hard for the correct game-plan and it worked, why would you be disappointed after?

We strive for routine and comfort, only to scoff at retuning to it. Perhaps, what is even more stranger is that a person was forced to go on the adventure. They were not allowed agency of any sort. Have you ever been mad to go somewhere? So that person is forced to leave, not wanting to go. Then they arrive and a different routine sets in. People like a different routine every now and then. Nevertheless, it is still a routine and the routine is to follow the plan. When plans aren't followed correctly, people tend to become frustrated and unhappy. This time, however, all boxes were checked. Everything was accomplished, yet, on the way back from the adventure, there seems to be one thing that you would have done differently. Desire doesn't make much sense because what you accomplish is never enough. People made up words like “content” to make themselves feel comfortable. People will sum up an experience by saying, “it is what it is.” Why do we feel depressed to go home? Time. The longer a person is gone from home the more they don't want to return. But that depends on where you go and the reason you are going.

And that is why some people don't even have one.

Unfinished Business

We all know the phrase.  We find ourselves facing the task.  Whether it be work or something different we know it needs to be done.  But why did we leave it in the first-place?  Was something more important?  Why did this business have to wait when it was so important to begin with?  It strikes a cord with the absurd.  People should never have anything to do with it.  Yet, if you ask somebody if there is something left to finish in life, chances are--there needs to be something done.



It can be very unsettling to think about.  Thoughts of regret may pop up or feelings of unimportance will consume us.  If you stopped then, why think about starting all over again?  It needs to be done!  How can one live with unfinished business?  Certainly the feeling of completion is a relief.  Perhaps it shouldn't have been that way but what other way could there have been?  There is only one way: finish what you started.  Then again, what if you didn't start it?  Maybe someone else put you into a position you didn't want to be in.



It could have been finished... if.  If what?  There can be many reasons you decided to stop.  All sorts of factors could have impeded your progress.  When something can't be done it must be finished later.  That is when you will stop doing what you are doing to start finishing what should have already been done.

Memories Passed

We all like to visit new places.  There is so much to expect and so much excitement waiting for us.  We see new things and take pictures and experience feelings and times never felt before.  The growing anticipation for something new gives us the opportunity to feel refreshed by truly living free.  However, going places never gone before bring about some anxiety as well, because we don't always know what might happen.  That feeling can also add to the fun but people are always drawn to comfort--think about when your plane lands or when you walk through your front door after a vacation.



Speaking of comfort... we all like it.  We enjoy a routine.  We enjoy it so much we create our own, being just a little careful not to sway to far from it; knowing all too well it could lead to a bad day.  No surprise is an unfortunate one because we knew it was going to happen anyway--at least that is how we justify it.  The problem with our routines are that they become boring.  And why wouldn't they?  It is the same thing over and over again!  The same movements and the same repetition; who wouldn't want a new experience?  Events in our life become dull and frankly, tiresome.  "Been there, done that,” people will utter.  Give me something new no matter how frightening, one may think.  Then, of course, this also repeats itself.  Routine for a while, then a brief escape, but only for a short while.  We certainly wouldn't want to leave our comfortable place for a long time.



Or would we?  If we want something truly new and different we leave for a long while.  We say, "goodbye," to ones we used to know and say, "hello," to those we are sure to meet.  While we are gone, time passes.  People forget.  We come in and out of existence while we still are living.  That is, if we ever leave.  One of the best feelings is to visit a place that you had been at for a while and then decided to leave for a while too.  We call it, "going back."  But is it really?  One had been gone so long it certainly doesn't feel that way--it seems new but our memories let us know it isn't.  A return to what once was is certainly different.  Why are things so much smaller?  That is probably because you were just a child then.  I wonder what ever happened to that store and where all the people went?  One may be so detached that the place just, "isn't the same."  So you leave. 



As you look around though you notice and remember certain things.  While the landscape has changed a bit you still hear the same sound and still breathe in that same smell.  It triggers your memory and for a brief moment you may find yourself lost in a dream--something conjured up by your own imagination.  You may even remember things that didn't really happen--or maybe they did--you just chose to remember them differently...for you.  Returning to an old place may be more new than you originally thought, it just depends on how long you've been gone.

Social Media Matters

Social media is a great way to stay connected to friends and family.  It is also a great way to see what your favorite celebrities and athletes are thinking and talking about.  It can be a great way to meet new people too. Look at all the upside to creating that first account.  Haven't you ever wondered what's going on in the world.  News-feeds are a vital part of social media.  Businesses can gain an advantage by promoting and advertising on social media sites.  Looking for a job, there are sites for that as well.  What can't social media do? 

It can break up families.  It can dissolve a relationship.  It can create social problems.  You may just want to stay home and talk--for now.  The question is: will you let it?  For all of the great things these websites do, there will always be a deviant variable attached to it.  Not because these websites are 'bad'.  But because were humans relate with one another and gossip; connections are made and loss.  This isn't a "drama" issue, this is human nature.  People talk and we all know it.

What motivation would lead somebody to post a pic to a friend in front of hundreds of others?  What incentive does someone expect from mentioning a rumor at your local grocery store?  These are basically the same situation, just played on a different "court" at a different pace.  The faster we are able to interact, the quicker we will enter and exit our places we frequently visit. 



On another note, there are also questions of identity.  We all think about what we want to post.  What type of person are we going to portray?  Will a picture be posted of yourself?  Will it be good enough?  How will people react to something you write?  Do you have an aim?  Will you make people happy or sad?  Perhaps most people don't care one way or the other.  Nevertheless, it all boils down to basic social principals: each and every person will create a different perspective about who you are.  You may have friends who defend your character outside of the cyber-reality you decided to speak on.  Are these character references?  No. They are friends.  All of our intentions are good in nature, but will they be understood?  Does knowledge have anything to do with morals?  Whatever the case, our intentions will continue to be questioned no matter how we communicate. 

Troll Alone

Remember the days when trolling was honerable.  The times when chat rooms had 'bots' and a person had to be clever enough, and use their words properly so they wouldn't get booted and the other person would.  There was an art to it and a good troll was hard to find.  They lurked in the shadows just waiting to annoy you by raising questions that sparked controversy that in the end, could be actually taken quite seriously. 

Now... trolling isn't as special.  It lost its appeal.  People see a troll and don't blink.  You rarely get caught up in any type of "trolling confrontation" anymore because it isn't as fun.  Perhaps, the act of trolling needs to catch up with the times.  They need to go back into hiding for a while.  When I hear about trolling on the news that signifies all the trolls out there lost there creativity.  Now that I think about it, there was no name then.  If a person was trolling they were called: an SOB. 

How could such an activity be personified and then thrown to the way-side?  All that time spent heckling the masses and for what?  To simply gain a chuckle and automatically be known that you are trying to be provocative for the sake of being provocative.  Where is the fun in that?  Moreover, you're not pissing anyone off--the cornerstone of internet chatting!  Oh well.  As the times change perhaps people will gain sympathy for the troll once again and invite him back to the conversation. 

The Lost Author

The internet is a great system (I do not like to call it an 'invention') for doing all sorts of things.  Reading the news, doing research, listening to music, and plainly just talking to friends.  The internet seemed like it was something that had to happen.  People, our curiosity, we need to know things.  Who was drafted in the 1983 NFL Draft by the Miami Dolphins?  I may know one player, but not all.  Simply, look it up.  How many frog species are there in the world?  Chances are you will be able to find the answer via the internet.

Remember the fun times (not to say that it still isn't fun debating) when you would have to argue and then wait to find out the answer through archaic research.  Perhaps what was more fun was placing a bet then calling up a person who both of you knew, who knew the answer to your debatable question.  What happened to that person?  Sometimes I miss that phone call.  All you were needed for was to be a reference to some insignificant question that somehow became important.  Your significance, however, lay in your knowledge.

Now we have the internet and it truly is amazing when one thinks about what type of 'thing' it actually is.  However,  it seems the author somehow became insignificant.  I know we can all scroll down to the bottom of a wiki site and find who 'contributed' to the article.  But how many times do we do that?  The card-catalog.  Everyone knows--if old enough--that you saw the title of the book and the author's name as well.  Everything is detached from a writing stand-point.  Information is not as important because it is easier to access.  Human beings made it quicker to find out things.  Simple.  Truth has become rumor.

It has produced a quickness in communication that is unheard of.  Nobody ever really thought about it too long ago, it just kind of happened.  Look around.  See the people on the street.  Watch the commercials on TV about texting and driving.  What are these people doing and who are they talking to?  Whose writings are they reading?  I don't know, do you? 

Miserable Times

I looked at people as I walked about today.  I looked at their faces.  I noticed their mannerisms.  I thought about why I see so much misery.  I don't feel miserable and I don't believe in happiness.  People can be "content" I will give them that.  Moments of happiness...sure.  Sadness as well.



I looked up the definition of miserable.  I found that it strictly meant: wretchedly unhappy, uneasy, or uncomfortable.  (Dictionary.com)  

 I found that perhaps it goes deeper than being uneasy.  Aren't we all a little uneasy, at least most of the time?  What happened to America?  This is supposed to be the place of happiness!  We work.  We have a home.  We spend our time with family and friends.  Then again.  I see a world of despair.  I see a place that doesn't have a dream.  I don't see picket-fences, I see run-down apartments and broken homes.  Debt and money have tarnished our imagination--unless it is finding a way to make more of it!

America is in a depression.  The greatest of them all.  What I do like about it is the word: "uncomfortable."  Great!  Comfort breeds laziness.  This country is comfortable.  People are not miserable!  They give and take.  They relax with a pill or a puff, a drink or some snuff.  When people are uncomfortable they make a change because then they know what it truly means to be human.  To not know, but to understand what suffering really is.  I hear that pain is relative.  "You don't know what I'm going through!" you can hear one scream at another.

Think.  Think about perspective.  You can understand and you can help.  These are all "comfortable" gestures.  Have empathy, give hope.  For what?  So you can deceive rather than believe.   I suppose that is what the lot of humanity wants; and more time.  What for?  To tell others how "bad" things are.  Tell them a story, something they didn't already know.  Then again, perhaps your happiness can't be defined.

The Regretful Man

There is a person out there.  A man.  He walks amongst us and says, "hello."  You see him at the store and you see him at the bar.  He isn't the brightest man, nor is he the happiest.  Yet, he is still a man.  He is a good person.  He gives to charity and feels bad for the poor.  He works and has fun and you would never know that inside his mind a monster tears at his soul.

He doesn't show it.  Why should he?  Do you?  We all make mistakes.  But the real question is do we regret them?  This man does and you would never know it.  Sure he makes comments at work about the men in suits in Washington, but he casts his vote.  He also complains about taxes and when the rent is raised.  He is 'normal' as any other man but still he lives in the past.  He wonders every morning when he wakes, "what could've been?"  He is consumed to no end by the decisions he made that moving forward is not an option anymore.  Yes, one could say that the Regretful Man is purely waiting to punch his ticket and enter the grave.

He has no prospects.  He doesn't care for love or praise.  He just lives.  Not in doubt--at least not anymore.  He used to.  But that time has past; it is gone.  Except he holds on to the thoughts.  He looks back.  Constantly, he reminds himself of the mistake.  It could have been small.  It could have been huge.  But to him--it was the most important thing in his life at that time and the time he is now living.  "Move on."  Not an option for this man.

This man can't and never will.  So he waits.  What happened?  Why did he become stuck?  It doesn't matter because he is.  His regrets his own life.  He willingly sold it and now, has to live with it.  He will be alone too.  Nobody can be around this Regretful Man because he is never truly there.  His life exists elsewhere.  His priorities lie in a dream now.  A constant dream of forgetfulness.  He is mean: to himself.  He bashes his ego and has no confidence but is not depressed.  He smiles everyday.  However, a thought is a powerful thing.  So powerful that it can stop in and say, "hello" whenever it wants.  The Regretful Man despises this and despises himself because he will not look forward.  He can't.  He won't.  He never will be.

Showing Restraint

How often do people show restraint?  This is a question I ask myself.  I believe that it is human nature to show restraint.  People are often hampered by the idea of speaking their mind.  They don't want to offend anybody or embarrass themselves.  They feel that being banal is the safer way to go about their lives.  But why walk on egg-shells? 



Those who are innocuous aren't always the nicest people, nor does it mean that they're not dangerous.  Sometimes the most dangerous person can appear to be insipid.  Think about when you are in an argument, perhaps with someone of significance or even a stranger.  Do they shut themselves away?  Or do they continue the confrontation?  There is always a time and a place and we all know this.  However, letting loose can be beneficial.

Sometimes though, our actions are impeded by consequences.  We know drinking and driving is wrong, yet we still do so.  Other times we know that battery is wrong, but justify it by coming to the realization that it ought to happen; that person deserved what was coming to them.  People deserve a lot of things.  People deserve the benefit of the doubt sometimes.  Others cannot be as strong, as smart, as creative or witty.  So those who fall below need to be treated accordingly.  Unsettling isn't it.   Showing restraint keeps the weak strong and the strong weak.

Reading... A Sign of Laziness?

Could it be possible that when you are sitting down with a good book, or you are studying a literary theorist's view on the American Literary Canon that you are in fact being lazy?  What if you stay in your house most of the day critiquing a work of fiction?  We certainly can't deem these habits as being lazy!  Perhaps they are though. 

Have you ever thought what other people may think you are doing all day?  Their perspective might just be that you are a “house-plant,” a mere hermit who reads for absolutely nothing.  Communication has evolved in such a way that if a person is being quiet, then they are not being productive.  We have become a nation of sound.  The television is on.  No one is watching it.  It has become background noise.  It is a distraction.

I personally like to read my news, not watch it.  It isn't just that though.  What ever happened to the couch potato?  I see more criticism and scrutiny against those who spend their time reading than I do people who watch the TV.  Perhaps there isn't something culturally correct in relaxing without being bombarded with constant noise and moving pictures.  Why would someone even want to read a book in an age filled with technology?  Well, all signs point to lack of drive you lazy thinker.

Mistakes

The feeling of guilt is arguably the worst feeling a person can deal with.  It is haunting.  It is stressful and frankly makes one not really care about the outcome of well... anything.  Guilt is usually caused by a mistake that is made in the past where the recipient feels responsible for the effect.  We can take responsibility for things and add more guilt knowing that we made the mistake.



That person also tries to make sense out of it by conjuring up excuses.  This helps to relieve some of the 'sickness' felt and it is often the only thing a person can depend on.  It is a way to move on.  "What is done is done," "it wasn't meant to be," or the infamous, "it was the right thing to do."  These are all aphorisms that help people deal with the mistakes they made.  Often, people deny they made a mistake, especially to others.  All the while they suffer inside knowing that the guilt was really brought upon by their own selfishness, pride, stupidity, etc. 



The question is then, how does a person justify the decision?  In other words, to proclaim: it wasn't a mistake at all.  Can we all just throw out our moral responsibility?  Were things really determined to end up in such a way?  The answer is not easy and neither is the time it takes to get past the past, and make the future bright.  There is a solution.  Unfortunately, it is one that no one wants to accept.  Nobody wants to be reproached, but nevertheless, sometimes there is no other way.  Our authenticity in a strange way depends upon our pride.  However, we must be careful with each situation that presents itself.  They are all very similar but just different enough so that we can learn.



That being said, we learn from our mistakes--at least we are supposed to in hopes to gain an understanding.  All things and events come with the ability to learn.  So take responsibility for your actions.  If you choose to live a certain way, make sure it is on your terms because if it isn't you will be enveloped with hatred and jealousy and carved up by envy.  Remember, a mistake is only a mistake if one denies that they made one.

Gaining Losses

Sometimes when you think about it what we gain we essentially will lose at some point in our lives.  I know this sounds bleak, but nevertheless it is true.  When we die, we have to leave things behind but it usually doesn't last long enough to get there.  What is the solution?  How do we overcome loss?  In many Eastern Religions, asceticism is practiced and can be the answer.  Asceticism is the practice of self-denial.  If we deny our desires, then we can't be affected by the loss. 

However, this seems too strict.  It is true that our desires do compel us to make decisions and such.  Our wants must be fulfilled.  To deny these desires takes a very strong will.  But attaining things and getting what we want doesn't make us weak.  I think how we respond to a loss is the ultimate evaluation of one's character.  "Losing" is bothersome.  We all know that but if we are to think about attaining happiness, then loss is something that cannot be allowed to consume us.  The problem is however, is that through life we gain so much so fast without thinking of the loss that is ahead. We are too wrapped up in fulfilling a need that we can't recognize what life would be like without it. 

This becomes a vicious cycle of gaining.  Once we attain what we desire, we are only left wanting more.  I'm not saying that human beings can't be content, I am concluding that being content is very difficult to maintain.  There are many reasons why this may be, but I think it may just be something inherent in all of us.  We dream of a better life.  We have hopes and wishes that need to be met.  And if they aren't we might as well conclude that we are left in despair.  There must be a way to get what we want and be left with the satisfaction of accomplishment even after it is gone.

Patience

We have all heard the phrase: "patience is a virtue."  Why is it then, that hardly any of us are?  We always seem to be in a hurry.  We find ourselves saying, "I don't have time for this."  But I say, "look around, and be calm."  There is plenty of time in the day for a lot of things.  If you find yourself "running out of time" then perhaps you aren't spending it wisely. 

For instance, you are in a hurry to get home.  Why?  Home is home, it will be there.  Take your time and keep a level head.  "Slow and steady wins the race."  Nobody believes this!  Everyone in America is all about 'hustlin'.  Take the time to show gratitude.  Take time to relax.  You might just be happier in the long run and the people around you will enjoy your company more.  Most importantly, you will be walking to the "beat of your own drum."  Remember, nothing is more precious than the feeling of freedom.